Helping Your Child Own Their Story

I want to encourage families to consider what they’re sharing about their youth’s adoption or guardianship journey.  What is the point of what they’re sharing?  While sharing may seem innocent, the end results could really be detrimental to the child; the child may feel embarrassed, even horrified, that others know their story.  I want to encourage parents who are raising adoptive or guardianship children to fully allow their child to own their story.

Allow your child to determine who, what, when, where, why, and how their story is shared. Continue to have conversations encouraging your child to have this control over sharing, but also teaching that there are times and places to share, and how to share, such as at a doctor’s appointment.  Teach that it is ok to keep some information private, information on birth family or what lead to being in foster care/being adopted.  Help come up with questions they might be asked and help your child come up with answers they’re comfortable with sharing.

This may be confusing for children to understand, and it’s to be expected.  Provide opportunities for ongoing conversation and help youth to become more aware of their story, confident in understanding that they have the control of sharing their story, and the skill in sharing appropriately.

This blog post was written by Post Adopt Coordinator, Darcy Solem, LBSW